Parenting after divorce or separation in Brisbane can feel like a daunting task. You might worry about maintaining a cooperative relationship with your ex-partner while ensuring your children’s well-being. The good news is that with the right guidance and planning, co-parenting can lead to positive outcomes for everyone involved — especially the children.
This guide explains how co-parenting works in Queensland, including legal principles, practical strategies, and key steps for creating a stable and supportive environment for your family.
Please note: this is general information only and not legal advice — please contact VM Family Law for accurate, tailored advice. Our full contact details can be found here: https://www.vmfamilylaw.com.au/contact/
Understanding Co-Parenting in Queensland
Co-parenting after separation or divorce means working with your former partner to raise your children cooperatively. It’s not about rekindling your relationship, but about prioritising your children’s needs, emotional health, and stability.
Both parents share responsibility for major decisions affecting their children unless the court orders otherwise. This includes decisions about education, medical care, and religious upbringing. Under Australian law, the best interests of the child remain the primary consideration in all parenting arrangements.
The Importance of a Co-Parenting Plan
A co-parenting plan provides structure and predictability for your children. It should set out:
Living arrangements and parenting schedules.
Schooling, healthcare, and extracurricular responsibilities.
Communication methods between parents.
Arrangements for holidays, birthdays, and special occasions.
In Queensland, a parenting plan is not legally binding, but it can be converted into a consent order through the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia. Consent orders are enforceable by law and give greater certainty to both parents.
Developing a detailed plan minimises conflict, provides stability for children, and ensures clear expectations for everyone involved.
Legal Responsibilities in Co-Parenting
Under the Family Law Act 1975 (Cth), both parents retain parental responsibility after separation unless the court decides otherwise. This means each parent remains responsible for long-term decisions about their child’s welfare.
Financial responsibility also continues after separation. Parents may reach a private child support agreement or apply for an administrative assessment through Services Australia (Child Support).
If there is family violence, child safety concerns, or serious conflict, the court can make specific parenting orders to protect the welfare of the children and establish safe boundaries between parents.
Family Dispute Resolution (FDR)
When parents can’t agree on arrangements, they are generally required to attempt Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) before applying to the court.
FDR practitioners are neutral professionals who help parents reach practical and cooperative solutions. The goal is to encourage agreement without the stress of litigation.
After FDR, if an agreement is reached, parents can make a parenting plan or apply for consent orders. If no agreement is reached, an FDR certificate is issued, allowing either parent to apply to the court for parenting orders.
FDR services are widely available across Queensland, including through community providers such as Relationships Australia Queensland.
Effective Co-Parenting Strategies
Building a strong co-parenting relationship requires more than legal agreements — it takes patience, communication, and mutual respect.
Here are some practical strategies for success:
1. Communicate Clearly and Respectfully
Keep discussions focused on your children’s needs. Avoid emotional arguments or rehashing past relationship issues. Many parents find that using shared calendars or co-parenting apps helps maintain respectful communication and avoid confusion.
2. Use Parallel Parenting When Necessary
If your relationship involves high conflict, parallel parenting may help. This approach allows each parent to make day-to-day decisions independently during their time with the children while limiting direct contact. It can reduce tension and protect children from exposure to conflict.
3. Maintain Consistency
Children thrive on stability. Agree on basic routines, rules, and expectations across both homes to provide a sense of predictability and comfort.
4. Plan Ahead for Holidays and Events
Create clear arrangements for holidays, birthdays, and special occasions. Planning ahead and being flexible reduces stress and helps your children enjoy time with both parents.
5. Clarify Financial Responsibilities
Agree on who pays for major expenses such as schooling, health, or extracurricular activities. Reviewing these arrangements regularly ensures they remain fair and up-to-date as your children’s needs change.
6. Avoid Blame and Negativity
Focus on problem-solving rather than fault-finding. Avoid speaking negatively about your ex-partner in front of the children — maintaining respect protects their emotional wellbeing.
7. Prioritise the Children’s Needs
Your children’s physical and emotional safety should always come first. Consider their views where appropriate and make decisions that serve their best interests.
8. Seek Professional Support
A family lawyer, counsellor, or co-parenting coach can offer valuable guidance. Professional advice helps resolve complex issues and maintain a healthy co-parenting dynamic.
Common Challenges and Practical Solutions
Disagreements about major decisions: Try mediation or counselling before resorting to court.
Different parenting styles: Respect differences as long as your children are safe and cared for.
High-conflict communication: Use structured, written methods and limit contact where needed.
Introducing new partners: Take it slowly and prioritise your children’s comfort.
Changing circumstances: Parenting plans can be updated if major life changes occur, such as relocation or a shift in the child’s needs.
Parenting Education and Support
Parenting programs can help separated parents build better communication and conflict-management skills. These courses are often recommended — and sometimes required — before court proceedings.
Examples include the Parenting Orders Program and Parenting After Separation workshops, which provide practical strategies for reducing stress and promoting healthy co-parenting.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Is a parenting plan legally enforceable?
No. A parenting plan is a written agreement, not a court order. However, it can be converted into consent orders, which are enforceable by the court.
Do both parents have equal rights after separation?
Generally yes, unless a court decides otherwise. Both parents have shared parental responsibility for long-term decisions affecting their children.
What if one parent won’t follow the plan?
If an agreed plan or order is breached, the affected parent can apply to the court for enforcement or variation.
What if family violence is involved?
If there’s a history of violence, the court prioritises safety and may issue orders for supervised visits, no-contact provisions, or other protective measures.
Can co-parents avoid direct communication?
Yes. In high-conflict cases, parallel parenting allows parents to share responsibilities with minimal direct interaction.
Final Thoughts
Co-parenting after separation is about focusing on your children’s wellbeing and working respectfully with your ex-partner. With proper communication, planning, and legal guidance, you can create a stable and nurturing environment that helps your children thrive.
If you need professional assistance with co-parenting arrangements, consent orders, or family dispute resolution, VM Family Law’s Brisbane-based family lawyers are here to help. Call 07 3447 8966 or visit vmfamilylaw.com.au for confidential advice.
Official Information Sources
Queensland Government – Families and Legal Relationships
https://www.qld.gov.au/families/legalFamily Relationships Online – Family Dispute Resolution and Parenting Support
https://www.familyrelationships.gov.au/parentingQueensland Law Society – Family Law Information and Support Services
https://www.qls.com.au/
