Separation reshapes the family unit, and parents often juggle new living arrangements, school commitments, medical needs and financial responsibilities — it’s easy to feel swamped.
A well-structured parenting plan or court orders can make day-to-day life clearer and keep the focus on the child’s best interests. With the right approach, separated parents can guide children through change while supporting their wellbeing.
Please note: this is general information only and not legal advice — please contact VM Family Law for accurate, tailored advice. Our full contact details can be found here: https://www.vmfamilylaw.com.au/contact/
Tip 1: Establish a Consistent Co-Parenting Schedule
A clear schedule helps children feel secure. Map out weekday/weekend arrangements, school holidays and special days. Keep handover times and locations consistent and practical for the child (e.g., around school or activities). Use shared calendars or co-parenting apps to minimise mix-ups.
Tip 2: Communicate Respectfully with Your Ex
Keep communication child-focused and business-like. Share essential information about school, health and activities. If tensions rise, slow down and respond in writing. Consistent, polite updates reduce conflict and build trust.
Tip 3: Prioritise Your Child’s Emotional Wellbeing
Major changes can be stressful for children. Maintain predictable routines (sleep, meals, homework) and keep them out of adult disputes. If concerns arise, speak with your GP or school and consider counselling or reputable parenting supports.
Tip 4: Use Mediation (Family Dispute Resolution) Early
Before going to court, parents in most cases must try Family Dispute Resolution (FDR). Mediation is usually quicker, less adversarial and keeps decision-making with the parents. If agreement is reached, record it in a parenting plan or seek consent orders for a legally enforceable outcome.
Tip 5: Plan for School and Extracurriculars
Coordinate who attends parent–teacher interviews, sports days and medical or therapy appointments. Share notices and updates promptly. Factor travel time and costs into your schedule to keep the child’s school and activities running smoothly.
Tip 6: Be Clear About Money That Relates to the Child
Child support is a federal system managed by Services Australia. Day-to-day costs are generally covered by child support assessments or by agreement. If you want to allocate specific expenses (e.g., school camps, uniforms, health or activities), set that out in writing (and take advice before formalising).
Tip 7: Keep Simple Records
Maintain a basic log of handovers, key communications, appointments and agreed expenses. Store important documents (school, medical, child-related receipts). Clear records help avoid misunderstandings and are useful if arrangements need review.
Tip 8: Set Healthy Boundaries
Agree on practical boundaries — preferred contact methods, response times and how extended family is involved. Avoid criticising the other parent around the child. Encourage the child’s relationship with both parents where it is safe to do so.
Tip 9: Build a Support Network
You don’t need to do this alone. Family Relationship Centres, community organisations and helplines provide education, referrals and low-cost mediation. Schools, GPs and local services can also help with supports for children and parents.
Tip 10: Look After Yourself
Your wellbeing affects your child. Use routines that support sleep, nutrition and exercise, and seek support if you’re struggling. Calm, consistent parenting is easier when you are looking after your own health.
Tip 11: Coordinate Holidays and Special Days
Avoid last-minute disputes by planning school holidays, birthdays and significant cultural or religious events well in advance. Put arrangements in writing, including travel details and how the child will stay in contact with the other parent.
Tip 12: Review and Adjust Arrangements
Children’s needs change. Revisit your parenting plan regularly (for example, every 6–12 months) or after major life changes. If agreement is difficult, try FDR. If you need enforceable terms, seek legal advice about consent orders.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Do we need a parenting plan or parenting orders?
A parenting plan is a written, signed, dated agreement. It is flexible but not legally enforceable. Parenting orders (including consent orders) are made by the court and are legally binding. The right choice depends on your circumstances and the level of cooperation.
Do we have to go to court?
Not necessarily. Many parents resolve arrangements through FDR and record them in a parenting plan or apply for consent orders without a contested hearing. Court is usually a last resort.
What if there is family violence or safety risk?
Safety comes first. Urgent legal advice is essential. Requirements to attempt FDR may not apply where there is family violence, abuse or urgency. Courts prioritise the child’s safety when making orders.
What if the other parent doesn’t follow our arrangements?
If you have parenting orders, there are court processes to address breaches. Keep records and seek legal advice. If you only have a parenting plan, consider FDR or seek consent orders for enforceability.
How is child support handled?
Services Australia manages child support assessments and collection. Parents can also make private child support agreements (legal advice recommended). Changes in care or income can affect assessments.
Can we change our arrangements later?
Yes. Parents can agree to new terms and update the parenting plan, or seek to vary consent orders if appropriate. If you can’t agree, try FDR and obtain legal advice about next steps.
Conclusion
Co-parenting after separation works best when arrangements are clear, child-focused and adaptable. Start with a practical schedule, communicate respectfully, use FDR early, and seek legal advice when you need enforceable terms or safety is an issue.
If you’d like help drafting a parenting plan, applying for consent orders, or resolving disputes, VM Family Law can guide you with clear, compassionate advice that keeps your child’s best interests front and centre. Call 07 3447 8966 or visit vmfamilylaw.com.au.
Official Information Sources
Legal Aid Queensland – Parenting arrangements and dispute resolution
https://www.legalaid.qld.gov.au/Find-legal-information/Relationships-and-children/Children-and-parenting/Parenting-arrangementsQueensland Government – Child custody and parenting arrangements (Queensland families/legal)
https://www.qld.gov.au/families/legal/child-custody-and-parenting-arrangementsFamily Relationships Online – Family Relationship Centres, FDR and support
https://www.familyrelationships.gov.auQueensland Law Society – Family law resources and finding a solicitor
https://www.qls.com.au
